"Turn #MissionImpossible into #MissionComplete" QC
For mothers day I sent my mom a package from here in South Korea that contained a bunch of facial products b/c I recently realized why Asian women age so well is because they have and use a ton of natural products that we do not have in the western marketplaces...so I sent her that and this card & picture:
This is the email I got back from her copy and pasted below and I have to admit, I got a little teary eyed.
To put the context in perspective after a skype call I had with my parents and my son (my parents were in Edmonton Canada, my son was in Orange Country California and I was in South Korea Asia) and we do this weekly.
Yup, thats my boy with a basketball on his head :)
Here is what she wrote below (I put some details in to give it context to the reader who does not know the inside scoop, to help fill in the blanks)
*Disclaimer, I did not post this email here to be some 'self righteous super hero or Avenger wanna be', but I was really shocked when I read and realized all the things have have happened recently and how intense this year and most of my life really has been....
"Hi Quinton,
I just wanted to say that I went to bed after the call with us all, and I actually HAD TIME to reflect on how things have gone, and have been, the last few years.
I have been well aware of the tremendous struggle that you have had all the way along, obviously.
But what you have gone through, and had to deal with, is beyond human strength, in order to keep contact with Ethan (my son who I fought for in a 6 year court custody battle) and then, like tonight, to care enough to take the time to get us all together to talk on the phone after negotiating & re scheduling many times with his mother, while you are at work in the middle of your day, half way across the world by using the technology available juggling with our 3 different time zones and what video calling technology which you installed is an absolute WONDER to me to begin with...
Then your intense health scare with the detection of a lump of a possible cancer treatment while in Asia dealing with doctors who spoke little to no English going to the hospitals there and having all those medical tests is an unimaginable experience to have to had to dealt with and thank God they all came back negative!!
Wow, what a relief that was!!
PLUS the recent investment accounts that you have set up & researched on your own to set up financially and seeking investments to include us to manage and invest ours, all the while also managing the Vancouver properties from overseas AND having to deal with that last tenant that tried to take advantage of you and take you to court and how you WON that battle as well, against all odds from the other side of the planet via a court conference call!
And if that was not enough, on top of all of that, dealing with 2 deaths in our family just one week apart after my brother and your grandmother died over Christmas holiday while you were working all alone in a foreign land were no one speaks your language, to be able to have steady work, and dealing with a supervisor that has been enough to drive you absolutely crazy, and not quitting and honoring your contract and now applying to the different universities to get the best offer for your next step in life to give you the free time to be with your son at months at a time, and continue to pay down the debt you incurred while trying [and succeeding] in the court process keeping in touch with Ethan (my son), again, AGAINST ALLLLLL ODDS....
But tonight, I just HAD to get out of bed, and come back to the computer, and acknowledge allll this that you have done.
I don't think there is anyone else who has walked with you as closely and consistently as I have, over these last VERY VERY VERY difficult years.
And I want to say that you are truly an incredible human being, to have persisted, every day, in doing what you have had to do in order to accomplish what you have accomplished. AND I AM INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU QUINTON.
THERE IS NOBODY ELSE WHO WOULD BE ABLE TO KNOW WHAT I KNOW ABOUT YOU,
EXCEPT GOD HIMSELF.
Do you remember when you called me from Montreal and told me that you and Angel, (Ethan's mom) was expecting, and I said to you,
"Finish what you have started.."?
Well, I have seen every day, over the last years, your struggle to do this.
And thank you for not giving up, and for continuing on.
YOU are the one who will benefit the most forever, from your faithfulness in keeping on, through all this, because of how it has formed you.
It will be the making of you.
IT IS INCREDIBLE IN MY EYES. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.
CONGRATULATIONS. IN MY EYES YOU ARE A SAINT. AMEN. AND I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.
YOU HAVE OVERCOME INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE ODDS TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU HAVE.
And that's all I have to say..
And things WILL get easier from now on. They just will...
And I will continue to be with you, and continue to fast and pray for you,
in all that you will ever need, as much as I am able to.
This is what life is about.
You HAVE BEEN living life to the fullest, by rising to the challenge that has been before you, and DOING EVERYTHING that you have been able to do
And good for you...
I love you very much, Quinton. [and so does God haha much more than me]
Mom"
Wow, well first of all, I am definitely not a "saint", but I guess all parents that that of their children... but I can honestly say that my mother is a saint, this is a pic of her next to her mothers grave, Ruth Pinder.
But talk about a heart felt email to read, it was really wonderful to know that at least one person has observed and acknowledged the efforts that I have made to be the best person I can me....even though it has not been an easy road, its been a experience for growth.
And just to be clear, because some people think I am in living in Asia just partying it up and messing around, the truth is I am here to work, save $ and make investments to and pay off the tens of thousands of dollars that the 6 year court case and child support (that I have never missed a month) that has set me back financially.
So I am currently overseas to work my ass off, get back on track and return home a better man to be the best father I can be to my little man.
However, that substantial investment of time, money and a roller coaster of emotions I made 7 years ago, to go to court for my son and my fatherly rights (for 6 straight years), and to also work to make amends with his mother is the best decision I've ever made and will always be the best investment I have EVER made or will ever make to ensure I have, keep and am able to maintain the best relationship with my son I can...
And I am happy to report that even after a lot of challenges, that I have done just that.
#MissionComplete :)
A great book to put 'fatherhood after separation' in perspective is and how challenging it is, refer this book above to any single father, its a must read.
So before you judge someone or someones actions, take a closer look because you don't know the reasons why, or what they are doing for the greater purpose that what is only visible surface deep.
The only thing that can ever top that letter I got from my mother above, is a similar one from my son....
I can just pray that he will one day understand how much I have sacrificed to be a part of his life, and how much I will always love and cherish him...
My best,
Quinton Carlin, on behalf of my big boy Ethan Carlin
PS I was fortunate enough to take this mentality and ability to 'just do it' to over come obstacles in my first business en devour and be one of the very few people who actually 'make it' in the home business online marketing arena.
I was actually even interviewed and added to this speaker line up on a CD series coaching program that included Mark Victor Hansen, the co founder of "Chicken Soup For The Soul" who is Jack Canfield's business partner from the movie "The Secret".
So that was a huge honor to be apart of that project helping to inspire others to also overcome their adversities & persevere
Picture of Mark Victor Hansen and I together at the Canadian Marketing Summit Conference in 2011
Stoked to have my name on the same speaker list with some of the hero's & industry legends:
The best part of all of this is yesterday when I was talking to my son about a basketball move, "I said that would be impossible" and he quickly responded stating "dad, nothing is impossible".
That was one of the proudest moments of my life hearing him adopt & share this limitless and positive mindset I have worked relentlessly to develop.
Sounds like I have a lot to learn from this kid of mine :-)
"Onward and upward" as my mom would always say...
Hey Quinton,
ReplyDeleteI too am a blogging English teacher/traveler/money saver from Canada living in Korea. I just found your blog while doing some research on The Philippines and ended up reading through a lot of your posts. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. This one about you, your son and the email from your mother was beautiful. Keep writing man!
Are you still living in Busan?
-Aren from busanbyday.wordpress.com